Have you ever watched another woman, maybe at a social gathering, who has completely captivated the attention of most, if not all, of the men in the room? Standing there, you wondered what on earth her secret was? She certainly wasn’t the best looking woman in the room, nor was she the best dressed. She wasn’t the slimmest either. But there was just ‘something’ about her that men found irresistible. Just what qualities do men desire in a woman?
Attracting love in the 21st century can be so difficult. Try as you may, you just cannot fathom it out! If you are a woman looking for love, or even marriage, this can be particularly irksome.
What does SHE have that you don’t?
Why are all these men flocking around her like bees around a honey pot?
Just what is her secret?
What is it these men find so attractive?
What makes a woman so desirable?
What Men Find Attractive
As women ‘judging’ other women, we tend to place far too much emphasis on physical appearance. Rather ironic, don’t you think, given that we accuse men of being shallow for doing the exact same thing!
In fairness, we can hardly be blamed for this. We slap on the make-up, titivate our hair and spend weeks on crash diets trying to squeeze into dresses that, in reality, are still one size too small for us!
There is no doubting that men like women who take care of their appearance. Nonetheless, believing that men are only attracted to facial or bodily features is a common misconception.
While the first thing we notice about someone IS their physical appearance, this is only the first step in evaluating their desirability. Aside from finding a woman aesthetically pleasing, there are several other common attributes which men find incredibly desirable and irresistible in women.
These characteristics include confidence, intelligence and personality.
Self-Confidence in a Woman
When you lack self-confidence, you tend to feel self-conscious and act awkwardly in the company of men. This sends out signals that you have low self-esteem and a low sense of self-worth. Furthermore, you transmit negative vibes, albeit unconsciously, which can also make those around you feel equally as uncomfortable
In contrast, a woman who exudes confidence is instantly attractive to the opposite sex. She has the ability to make men feel at ease in her presence. That is why they like being around her.
Independent, ambitious and self-focused, the confident woman believes in herself and does not come across as an emotionally insecure or ‘clingy.’ Insecurity in a relationship usually equates to drama which, as you should know by now, most men prefer to avoid at all costs!
Nonetheless, I should inject a little note of caution here. Overly confident people can become somewhat over-bearing. So be careful. Men still prefer their women to be feminine!
Intelligence in a Woman
Think men find intelligent women intimidating? Well, think again!
In 2008, University Professors Christine B. Whelan (University of Pittsburgh) and Christie F. Boxer (University of Iowa) identified the top 10 traits that men wanted in a wife.
‘Good looks’ ranked a lowly 8th place whilst ‘education and intelligence’ made it all the way up to number 4!
Ok, so we’re not necessarily talking about you becoming the next Albert Einstein here. But this survey helps emphasise the importance of being able to engage a man in intelligent and meaningful conversation.
There may also be a subliminal element to this desirable trait as good communication is an essential facet of any relationship.
But even if you’re not Harvard educated…and how many of us are? Don’t fret!
Something as simple as reading the newspaper and keeping abreast of current affairs provides you with a broad range of topics to discuss and will help you ‘hold your own’ during a conversation.
We all have different hobbies, skills and life experiences which we can share also. This is what makes you the interesting and unique person that you are today. Just make sure you have more to discuss than your latest pair of Louboutins!
Good Personality in a Woman
‘Personality’ is a broad heading which covers a multitude of traits. Men like women who display the following characteristics:
- Have a sense of humour
- Are warm and loving
- Act with integrity
- Emotionally stable
And, if all else fails, remember that a smiling face can melt the coldest of hearts!
What Men Want In A Wife
The 2008 Boxer and Wheeler study ranked the qualities that men desire in a woman as follows:
- Mutual attraction and love
- Dependable character
- Emotional stability and maturity
- Education and intelligence
- Pleasing disposition
- Good health
- Good looks
- Desire for home and children
- Ambition and industriousness